Sticks And Stones

 I was in the fifth grade and there was a boy in my class that everyone made fun of. This is my first recollection of being mean to someone. He was a poor boy, big for his age and everyone, including me thought he was gross. I know that is not a nice thing to say but I am speaking the truth. I remember us making comments under our breath when he would walk by knowing full well he heard every word and then laughing about it. We would walk home and he would walk by himself and we would yell terrible things to him, sometimes he would retaliate and sometimes he would act as if he didn't hear us, but I know he did. I think back on that now, and I tell you if I ever run into him I would give him the most sincere apology, for I am truly ashamed. I along with everyone else was just plain mean to this boy and for what? Because he was poor, dressed poorly, and was big for his age. My heart aches just thinking about it!


I remember later in Junior High I was made to be his science partner. At first I was appalled, but as I got to know him I found him to be nice and extremely helpful with our project.Even though he saw my reaction and remembered all the nasty things I as well as other had said about him, he still was nice to me. However, did I bother to apologize for my bad behavior...NO! I regret it to this day, and now that bullying as been brought to the fore front it bothers me even more than ever.

Awe, but believe me, YOU do reap what you sow, because I too was bullied in High School and let me tell you it isn't fun. Of course I had skills to take up for myself, but what about the ones who do not? Not that this makes one bit of difference, but back then we didn't think of it as being a bully, we thought of it as just making fun of someone, not realizing how deeply we were hurting them. I'll bet there were mornings when he wished he didn't have to go to school, because when it was happening to me, I sure skipped a lot of school.

What make any of us think we are better than anyone else? We were uniquely created for a reason and yet as people we seem to get great pleasure out of hurting one another. As humans we are so consumed by appearance instead of character that it's a wonder God hasn't wiped His hands completely of us. So what if someone is fat, skinny, unattractive (in our eyes). Whether they are short or tall, African American, Asian, Indian, Hispanic, heterosexual or homosexual? Who are we to judge? And what right has ever been given to us to judge? What right has ever been given to us to be cruel and that's what it is...CRUEL!!

We also judge people by their sins and because of it treat them unfairly. It is not for us to judge. God says in Matthew 7:1-5 Judge not,that ye be not judged. For what judgement ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why behold thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but consider not the beam that is in your eye? Or how will thy say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote in your eye ; and behold, a beam is in thy own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast the beam out of your own eye; and then shall you see clearly to cast out the mote in your brother's eye. Sin is sin, we as a people put a degree on sin but in God's eyes gossiping is just as sinful as over eating, or drinking, or any other sin, with the exception of the unpardonable one.

Who made us judge and jury? I tell you, we will be held accountable for bullying and I repent, for Lord I am truly sorry. People are killing themselves over being bullied, people are killing each other because they think themselves better than someone else. It has become an epidemic and now with the Internet and texting, it's even worse. Stick and stones may brake my bones but words will never hurt me. That is such a lie, for words can cut deeper and last longer than any knife wound. Hurtful words play over and over in your mind, to the point to where you start to believe them. Society has made such a big deal out of looks, and size that I feel sorry for the youth growing up in these times. So some kids don't like sports, or they are not a cheerleader so what? So what if your not popular, it's what's inside that truly counts, although I'm sure those of you being bullied are saying to yourself, "easy for you to say!"

Believe it or not, it does get better as you get older, but if you find yourself in a situation that is unbearable don't keep still. It's just like sexual or physical abuse, silence is an abusers best friend and it is also a bully's best friend. Go to someone and tell, don't be afraid or ashamed that you can't handle it on your own. Sometimes it takes another person to step in and take action. Trust me, for ever action there is a reaction and your reaction may not be able to undo, especially if you are thinking of taking your own life!! Nobody, no matter what is said about you is worth taking your life over. Your life is a precious gift and you are precious!

I was abused, used, mistreated and unpopular in High School. I had a teacher make fun of me my freshman year in front of the whole class. I had friends who turned their backs on me and friends who betrayed me. Like I said, for every action there is a reaction and my reaction was rebellion, every kind of rebellion you can think of. I lived a life of lies and deceit and I cried when I was alone all the time. I could have used some help, but I didn't reach out because of pride. When I think back on that young boy, I wonder if he cried when he was alone? I wonder if he ever felt love and acceptance as he grew older? Children can be so cruel and so can their parents. And there is no defense for a parent condoning their child being a bully.

Those of you who are reading this, if you have been bullied please know that there is help out there. Now, more than ever you have an advocate because people are finally recognizing the terrible effects  of bullying. Now is YOUR time to expose those who are mistreating you. Whether it be with words, or physical, YOU have the power to stop it. Just as all of us in life must step forward when a wrong is being committed, you must too. You are stronger than you think and braver than you realize. Just take that one step or say those two words...HELP ME! I will help you, I realize that in order for you to comment you need a google account, but it's not hard to get. Do it, then write to me, together we can find a solution, no matter where you live. If need be, I'll be your advocate!!

My heart is sadden as I type this because there is a man lying in a hospital room fighting for his very life because of a bully. Don't let that be you. You may not feel this way, but God does love you. He knew you before you were even conceived and He has a plan for each and everyone of us who will seek Him and allow Him to direct our path. Come just as you are with all your imperfections, as we all have them. In closing really comprehend what Jesus says in Matthew 5:3-12
  3) Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
  4) Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
  5) Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
  6) Blessed are they which hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be full.
  7) Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
  8) Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
  9) Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
10) Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of
      heaven.
11) Blessed are ye when men shall revile you and persecute you, and shall say all manner  of evil
      against you falsely, for my sake.
12) Rejoice and be exceedingly glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they
      the prophets which were before you.
The first one 3) is a prophecy, the following nine are promises and the last one  12) is a command.
God will richly reward you and He will come to your defense. And may we all remember what it says in
 St. John15:12&13 This is my commandment that you love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

I hope one day I get the opportunity to see that young man, so that I can tell him how sorry I am. If you are guilty of bullying as I once was, I pray this makes you realize that your actions are no small thing and that it really is a sign of a deep seeded problem within you as it was in me. And those of you who have been bullied as I once was, forgive them. Forgiveness is for YOU, for not being able to forgive only hurts YOU! When you forgive it releases YOU to live a fulfilled and content life. It loosens YOU to receive all that God has to offer YOU. I encourage all to quit focusing on the exterior and look at the interior of a person. I like M.L.King have a dream also, that one day we will not look at the color of ones skin or their appearance, but rather become aware of the importance of the content of their character. For that truly IS what matters!!