Come Into My Parlor Said The Spider To The Fly

It was a beautiful warm sunny day in June. I had just turned 5 years old and was excited that we had moved into a new neighborhood. I could see all around me many kids to play with, but since I was the new kid on the block I was ignored. That wasn't going to stop me, after all I already had some survival skills and being the extrovert that I am, I walked right up and introduced myself. However these kids were not going to make it easy for me, so needless to say my first couple of days were no fun! Little by little I began to make headway and before long I was part of the gang. Every morning the first kid out would give his/her unique signal letting the other kids know that the day was ready to begin. My mother would this "the call of the wild". What would we do today? Play kick ball, ride bikes, hopscotch, jax, red light green light, I could go on and on, all I knew was there were kids everywhere, it was like a kids heaven. You see we moved from Walnut street which was our main street in town with a total of one kid to play with, so you can see why I thought I was in heaven.

Unknown to me while we played there was a older man who would sit on his front porch and watch us kids run up and down the street. He would always say hi and in return we would greet him back as we would run past him. One day he came out on his porch with Popsicle's as we approached and asked us all if we wanted one. Well, what kid ever turned down a Popsicle, certainly not me and neither did anyone else. Before long it became a habit with him, he would see us playing across the street in this empty field and would beckon us over with Popsicle's. Before long he had us all sitting on his porch talking and joking with us. We all thought he was nice and for awhile he was nice.

One weekend all my friends seemed to have places to go and since my parents worked on the weekend I would stay at a neighbors house for the whole weekend. I had nothing to do, and was skipping along down the street when the man with the Popsicle's came out with one for me. We laughed for awhile as I sucked on the tasty treat and before long I had finished it. He asked if I would like another one, which of course I did, but this time he asked me to come in. I had nothing better to do so I went in. I still can smell his house in my mind, it was musty and stale but my mind was on that Popsicle. This time instead of going back on the porch he asked if I wanted to watch some cartoons and since nobody was around to play with, I said yes. We talked and laughed at the cartoons, I had a great time however it was getting late in the day so I left and went back to my babysitters house. Her daughter was older than me and seemed jealous of the time her mother would give me and therefore treated me mean. I hated staying there.

Soon another weekend would come around and my friends were either camping with their families or doing something and again I would find myself alone with nothing but time on my hands and nobody to play with, except for the older man who always had a supply of Popsicle's. It got to be a habit, me and him on the weekends talking, watching cartoons, he actually enjoyed spending time with me. Little did I know just how much fun he had planned for me. He nurtured me and had gained my trust and I thought he was my friend.

It was August almost time for me to begin kindergarten and another weekend approached. You see the kids were always around during the week, but on the weekends they would do special things with  their parents while mine worked! Back to the babysitter I would go, dreading every minute of it, but I had my buddy the man with the Popsicle's,  he would play with me. I had no idea just what kind of games he wanted to play,  but that weekend I soon found out! He called me into his bedroom, he said he had something to show me and brought down a box. In the box were pictures of naked men and women and being young as well as inquisitive I giggled and laughed, something inside of me liked looking at them. Then it happened, he touched me in places I knew that were wrong, my heart beating out of my chest, I can still feel how hard my heart was beating  still to this day!! I was so little and afraid, I was paralyzed with fear and it was as if I was out of my body watching and feeling things that I didn't want, but was too scared to stop. He took his clothes off and would rub on me and as bad as this sounds after awhile it began to feel good. I thought bad girl, bad bad girl! Nasty, dirty little girl don't you darn tell, for if I did he will say I wanted it, it was all my fault. And if I didn't come back, he would tell all my friends what we did and nobody would be able to play with the nasty, dirty little girl!!!

I can't tell you how long this continued to happen for my mind seemed to turn off as I became numb. I would go back to my house or the babysitters and bathe trying to rub the dirt and smell off of me. Why did I allow him to keep me in his web of deceit? In my mind I was that nasty, dirty little girl who had heard the saying "come into my parlor said the spider to the fly" only now I knew just what that saying meant, I was the fly and he was the spider and I was caught in his web!!!

This continued until one day I came home from kindergarten and heard my mom talking to the nieghbor and they were talking about someone who had died. I later learned it was the SPIDER and I was free from his web. I was FREE and no one would ever know about me the nasty, dirty little girl! I finally had no worries, or so I thought, because although I was free from him, there lay waiting another SPIDER only I was unaware of it, that was to come later.

I've since learned that it's not uncommon for a young child to be aroused or the cunning ways a pedophile works. This was a text book example. Parents pay attention to your children and who they surround theirselves with. Notice adults that want to spend an unusual amount of time with them. Don't count on them to tell you when bad things happen to them. Their minds are not equiped with rationalization, especial when lies and fear engulf them.

And to the survivors of such hideous assaults, as hard as it is to do, forgive your abusers. For in continuing the hate it only hurts YOU. In the Bible if you go to John 10:10 it says "The thief comes to steal, kill, and destory. I (Jesus) have come that you may have life, and that you may have it more abundantly " It's hard to understand why evil things happen to us, but we must be careful not to let the THIEF steal our life, he's had it for way to long...RECLAIM YOUR LIFE  for Jesus is waiting to give you abundant life.