God's Precious Blessings

I began my first blog by telling you a little about my background as a young child. Now I'd like to encourage you that there are blessing which have occurred even as I walked in my journey of secrecy.

 I married at the young age of twenty. The man I married was a good person and although I thought I loved him, sadly I didn't. However God Blessed me with a set of twin girls and then later along came another beautiful  daughter, so I have three children all together. I always wanted twins but since my sister had twin boys, I figured that it wouldn't possibly happen a second time in our family...how wrong I was. In my sadness God gave me the greatest gift of all, my children.My life revolved around them, and their love gave me a fulfillment which I had never known. I thank HIM daily for those blessings in which He bestowed upon me.

Anyone who has gone through sexual abuse is always looking for any signs of strange behavior when your children are around people (strangers, friends or family) one never knows! I emerged myself into a christian school and became involved with many projects, with hopes that this would somehow fill the gap of hurt and betrayal that seemed to engulf my brain. I fought fear at all times and used the school for my salvation from going crazy. I wasn't happy at home, I didn't desire my husband physically and at times, as cruel as this may sound...his touch repulsed me. I tried for seventeen years to make this marriage work, but ultimately it came to and end. I must point out that the father of my children had nothing to do with my feeling towards him, it was the demons inside of me that I was at war with!

The reason that I want to share this with you now is because I want you to know there is happiness at the end of my journey, and that you can overcome any obstacles whether it be physical, mental, emotional or spiritual.

As we begin this journey into the deep and dirty secrets of sexual abuse, some of what I say may come across strong, but there can be no sugar coating the truth if you truly want to be set free. Some of what I divulge will turn your stomach. Some of what I tell you still turns mine, but it's been branded in my mind and shall remain there forever! 


My hope for us all through these stories is not to sensationalize the abuse, but rather to encourage you that Gods love is greater than anything that can possibly happen to you and that greater is HE that is in you, than he that is in this world. Yes I will be lifting up the name of Jesus because without HIM my life would be a complete wreck. So be of good courage my friends, for there is hope that you will come through this. Will you be able to forget these things that have happened to you, probably not. Can you overcome and be used to help others...YES!

I don't need to tell you that those whom did you harm were evil because YOU  know that , YOU lived it , but they were controlled by  Satan (the father of this world) that's why it says in the bible that we "Wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, powers, wicked rulers in high places" that's why we need God to achieve peace. My desire is that through this journey we will begin to heal and find true peace.


I leave you with this scripture...Revelations 12:11 "And they (us) overcame him (Satan) by the blood of the lamb (Jesus) and by the word of their testimony.. ."